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Thread: Jokes & Funnies

  1. #401
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    Khazad-dûm
    Posts
    11,014
    Etiamsi omnes, ego non

  2. #402
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Muineachán
    Posts
    7,737
    Irish blonde...

    An attractive blonde from Cork, Ireland, arrived at the casino. She seemed a little intoxicated and bet twenty thousand dollars in a single roll of the dice.

    She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude." with that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and with an Irish brogue yelled, "Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!"


    As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed. "Yes! Yes! I won, I won!" She hugged each of the dealers, picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed.

    The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded.
    Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?" The other answered, "I don't know - I thought you were watching."

    MORAL OF THE STORY

    Not all Irish are drunks, not all blondes are dumb,
    .... but all men...are men!
    It`s Better To Reign In Hell, Than Serve In Heaven!

  3. #403
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    Khazad-dûm
    Posts
    11,014

  4. #404
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Muineachán
    Posts
    7,737
    Shite sport. Fuck off!
    It`s Better To Reign In Hell, Than Serve In Heaven!

  5. #405
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    Anxiety Avenue in Tinnitus Town
    Posts
    4,157
    There was a big black fella doing his usual workout at his local gym and the gym's cleaner(a little lady) spots him and goes up to him and goes 'Ooooo you're a big man aren't you?',he goes 'yeah that's plenty of the exercise!'...She then asks him 'How big are your arms'?,he goes 'they're 20 inches all the way round'...She then goes 'how big is your chest?',he goes 'my chest is 52 inches all the way around'...She then goes 'How big are your legs?',he says 'my legs are 26 inches all the way around'....She goes 'Wow! you're a BIG man aren't you?',he replies 'Yeah that's plenty of the exercise'..

    She then nudges him and says under her breath 'Hey! How big's your cock?',he goes 'It's 3 inches'..She retorts 'What!?
    You've got BIG arms,a HUGE chest,MASSIVE legs and all you've got is a 3 inch cock!?'.....He goes 'Yeah,but that's from the ground!'....
    Last edited by Martyboy; 10th July 2017 at 12:43 PM.

  6. #406
    Everton chairman Bill Kenwright is to take over Brexit negotiations after showing it's possible to spend £135m and exit Europe within 3 months.

  7. #407
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Posts
    11,400
    Everton will be in the Premier League for two more seasons.

    Winter and Spring.
    Your hobbies are rollerblading and you're also a bit of a rat-hound? Steel Wool
    Sid knows he's crazy and he likes it. Balinkay

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