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I dont get that vibe in Ireland. It night depend on the circles you mix in but in my experience the further up the ladder you go in terms of prestige in jobs and perceived class the more self serving people tend to get. I'm an electrician by trade and I'd say 80% of the lads I meet on site are pretty sound. Maybe they might have issues behind the scenes with drugs or alcahol or being a bit mad in some cases but decent lads who'll help you out. Same in my home town. The lads that like the banter and craic are the lads that would loan you a score when your stuck.
I'm taking an online degree in my spare time in mechatronics which has brought me into contact with some people already from an engineering background and fuck me but some of them don't half think the sun shines out of their arse. No matter what you say you've achieved or are trying to achieve they already did it or something better. I hate these type of people. Most of it is pure bulkshit then too because they dont have a fcuking clue about the technical stuufcwhen we are doing assignments. I believe most people in life are inherently good though but make bad calls and decisions at times.
I recovered several times, but it was always through going back to the music industry away from society in general, the key difference this time that I'm acutely aware of is in the wrong environment the PTSD the Manc work place episode left me with is really very dangerous. I'm not getting into why it is really dangerous, just trust me on that and it recurred on 3 or 4 attempts to start again and that was combined with them wrecking 30 odd years of programming that among other things was to curb my own worst traits and put in place loads and loads of filters to try and get by and not let the poor behaviour and bullshit behaviour of too many people in general society negatively affect me.
The PTSD is a subconscious defence reaction and with all my extensively programmed 'bullshitometers' broken, I can't do it, it doesn't work and it's dangerous. I actually spoke to a couple of Afghanistan vets on a train a few years back, I was a bit embarrassed, as one of them had lost his leg from the knee down, but they seemed intent to get it out of me how it had come about. When I explained it to them they straight out said "you were effectively tortured for 2 and a half years, of course you're going to have PTSD, you're a torture victim" going on to explain that in the Army they'd been prepared (as well as anyone can be) for torture in the event they were captured and that preparation was mostly focused on modern torture being continual day in day out mental torment rather than water boarding, thumb screws, getting beatings that most people think of.
What pretty much happens is: People behave like dicks, PTSD kicks in, that triggers a bipolar episode, I'm straight back to where I was when I was at my very worst mental state - repeat - repeat - repeat
I still obviously have episodes, but in my current almost stress free environment, away from society in general, they're far less severe and more manageable. I realised recently that I had numerous episodes when I was doing my music work, but they were largely hypomania episodes, which in that environment wasn't a negative thing, everyone just thinks you're hyper active, over enthusiastic, work really hard, do great work and believe in magic. I had definite patterns of hypo manic epsiodes on tour and depressive episodes during extended breaks when there wasn't much gigging to be had
"If Everton were playing at the bottom of my garden, i'd close the curtains”
The brain is very under explored entity that no-one is anywhere near to properly understanding
I've had so many bizarre experiences, I don't know if they were episodes, if they were the brain trying to develop and find new stuff and shutting down other things while trying to do it.
In my mid twenties I'd quite often have sort of blackouts, sort of semi conscious, but forced to lie down in my room, I'd have numerous apocalyptic visions and images rapidly flashing through my head, followed by deep space travelling, then a white flash like it had found what it was looking for, then be ok again, some times these lasted minutes, sometime I'd lose half an hour or more
I've had numerous experiences of travelling in dreams, really weird, recurring dreams, I was getting up, going out, driving, or walking, going to places, but I was invisible, opening doors, the doors showing all the actions of opening, but no me, no hands or anything else, getting in the lift to go to the ground floor, looking at the mirror seeing an empty lift. I don't recall encountering anyone else in them, the streets were all empty
Numerous experiences of third person while conscious, very weird again, like you're watching yourself and what you're doing in your day to day from a third person camera from just behind and above the rear right side of your head
Weird dreams of walking endlessly across beaches strewn with blood splatter and severed limbs littering the beach and coming out of the sand like they were plants and trees
"If Everton were playing at the bottom of my garden, i'd close the curtains”
See the pfa have apparently written to players warning against taking pay cuts without consulting them first. Sky had it on Instagram and when I went to comment it was deleted.
Belgium cancel their league. Brugge champions, gent in cl no relegation and 2 promoted.
Nah, better to finish the games we have left and win it '100% properly'.....
Offender Of The Offended...!!
It`s Better To Reign In Hell, Than Serve In Heaven!
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