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Thread: Around the world News

  1. #161
    I think fiordearg put it best.

  2. #162
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    Quote Originally Posted by stevie harkness View Post
    I think fiordearg put it best.
    Waterford whispers is a parody of itself, it's a literal joke publication

    Heres its breaking news story today....
    Local Woman To Give House The Once Over Before Cleaner Arrives:
    ALREADY at odds with the idea of another person coming around to*tidy her house, Waterford local Margaret Gunne has reluctantly agreed to hire a professional cleaner for an hour this weekend, but not before she ‘pulls a rag around the house’ first. Leading a hectic lifestyle that involves a committed work schedule, three kids at school and all their assorted extra-curricular activities, the Gunne family decided to enlist the help of a local cleaning company to keep their home in order, with a*cleaner scheduled to arrive at 10am on Saturday morning.
    However, matriarch Margaret has undertaken an intensive ‘pre-tidy’ tidy up ahead of that, in fear of mortification as to what the cleaner would think about the state of the house that she was hired to clean. “Between my wife and I, we do our best to keep the house tidy, but with the boys and our own work schedule, it can get a bit messy” explained Derek Gunne, over the sound of frantic hoovering. “Now, while I seem to be perfectly happy with a cleaner coming in and helping out, Margaret is quite frankly ‘fucking on one’. She’s spent the last two hours ‘giving the house the once over’, muttering about how she can’t let the cleaner come into the house like this.*And there’s a lot of ‘the shame’ talk coming out of her.* I tried to say leave it for whoever lands on Saturday, but she’s not to be told. At this rate, there’ll be nothing for the cleaner to do. I wonder would*they mow the lawn?”
    UPDATE: The cleaner arrived to a spotless Gunne house on Saturday at 10am, then spent an hour watching telly before clocking out.

    And another...
    Britain On Track To Fuck Ireland Over Again.
    DISREGARDING hundreds of years oppression, famine and general cruelty towards the island of Ireland, the British political establishment peeled back its maggot infested foreskin before gearing up to fuck Ireland over yet one more time.
    “Which way would you like it?” prime minister Boris Johnson asked the Irish public as he unzipped his trousers and unsheathed Britain’s throbbing influence, which has actually decreased significantly in size, virility and power since the old Empire days, “I’ll have to pull out that backstop lodged right up your border first, but the lubrication will cost you more than normal as it comes from outside the EU”.
    Explaining the safe word ‘prorogue’, Johnson turned to the UK’s red-haired stepson, Northern Ireland, reassuring it that everything would be alright if its stupid ginger mouth just stopped talking about laws, agreements and human rights, that would be great.
    “Don’t even think about knocking on the door, trying to get out, as there will be no one there to listen for the next few weeks,” Johnson advised NI, now hiding behind the Queen’s dress, “only for Ma’am and her family here we’d have sold you back to those Irish tinkers years ago – so count your lucky blessings, Paddies”.
    Implementing the closure of the British parliament in a bid to stop any interference, democracy, an unfazed Johnson took a Victorian styled candle to the Good Friday Agreement before attempting to set it alight, followed by loud cheers from his excitable party colleagues.
    “Ah, it will be just like the good old days, this is for you, Maggie!” the Tories gleamed, as their soulless, beady little eyes danced to the fire’s blue flame.

    (Think Trimble was taking a legal challenge against the backstop, but that seems to be below the Irish public radar)

  3. #163
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    Quote Originally Posted by stevie harkness View Post
    I think fiordearg put it best.
    I think Dave Chapelle puts it better, even if he is a racist homophobe and general all round bigot extraordinaire


  4. #164
    Quote Originally Posted by CCTV View Post
    I think Dave Chapelle puts it better, even if he is a racist homophobe and general all round bigot extraordinaire
    He's very good. I've not seen any of his racist homophobic stuff though.

  5. #165
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  6. #166
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    Waterfordwhispersnews.com

    Pence Spends Entire Meeting With Taoiseach Thinking About Kissing Him

    US VICE president and ardent bigot, Mike Pence, has spent the entirety of his behind-closed-doors meeting with Irish leader Leo Varadkar contemplating what it would be like to place his mouth on the soft, supple lips of the 39-year-old Irishman.

    “Don’t think about kissing him, don’t think about kissing him,” ran the internal monologue in Pence’s head as he engaged in polite small talk with the openly gay leader of Ireland, before confirming to himself it was a good idea he banned media from attending and reporting on the meeting with the broad-shouldered, classically handsome Irish hunk.

    “But what would it be like to touch a penis that wasn’t mine,” Pence’s head added, contorting his soul into a shape that made him feel all sorts of odd, but very familiar feelings, like planting a kiss on the lips of the Irish leader he was currently locking eyes with.

    The meeting, which was meant to be a straightforward and perfunctory discussion which allowed both the Irish and American political class to pretend there is a sustained and special connection between the two nations, became continuously derailed by the US vice president’s predilection for sinful thoughts.

    Fuck, that accent gets me every time,” Pence added as he gripped the arms of his chair tighter and tighter with each and every word the tall, slim and intelligent Irish leader said, reminding Pence of Cary Grant and a time when men were men.

    At the end of the meeting, which was heralded as a warm and successful chat, Pence gifted Taoiseach Varadkar a copy of the Old Testament with all the bits about how he is an abomination helpfully highlighted, as well as presenting him with a gift voucher for a gay conversion therapy programme.

    The Taoiseach had previously assured the media that while it has been said Pence is openly hostile and bigoted when it comes to the LGBTQ community, he definitely doesn’t believe in gay conversion therapy so that’s kind of cool.

  7. #167
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    ...very Catholic, that...
    There's too much confusion, I can't get no relief

  8. #168
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    Quote Originally Posted by stevie harkness View Post
    He's very good. I've not seen any of his racist homophobic stuff though.
    Did you not watch the yt clip !!

    He mocked the poor (fianciallly affluent enough to pay 2 Nigerians to beat him up by cheque) French victim of a homophobic racist attack by maga hat wearing trump supporters.

    He never even seriously addressed the rights of people to fake crimes and make false accusations ffs to create smear campaigns !!

  9. #169
    Quote Originally Posted by CCTV View Post
    Did you not watch the yt clip !!

    He mocked the poor (fianciallly affluent enough to pay 2 Nigerians to beat him up by cheque) French victim of a homophobic racist attack by maga hat wearing trump supporters.

    He never even seriously addressed the rights of people to fake crimes and make false accusations ffs to create smear campaigns !!
    Yes I watched it, thanks, he's very good, so good I watched it again.

    At first I thought you were trying to connect it to our earlier discussion about Greta Thunberg and the environment but that would confirm my suspicion that we were talking about two different things. It's all about context.

  10. #170
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    Quote Originally Posted by CCTV View Post
    Did you not watch the yt clip !!

    He mocked the poor (fianciallly affluent enough to pay 2 Nigerians to beat him up by cheque) French victim of a homophobic racist attack by maga hat wearing trump supporters.

    He never even seriously addressed the rights of people to fake crimes and make false accusations ffs to create smear campaigns !!
    Aah, poor poor Mossieur Smollier.
    Etiam si omnes, ego non

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