Man City set to commission statues of Tierney and Kavanagh

[miller0863]

2 weeks? Doubt it, you mean days surely

[Nineteenx]

2 weeks? Doubt it, you mean days surely

Nicely done Miller

[alifino]

"Episodes" are something else.

I briefly owned a character called "Brendan" - ginger, a Vampire - fuck knows why. He was an ironing board. He had been drawn on so he had a face. Wasn't unlike the Da of the ginger lad in Rugrats.

I brought him out into the middle of the woods for company as I was intent on killing myself. This would have been about April of 2007.

I had been in the habit of going out extremely drunk at night with a cardboard box to lift hedgehogs that were on the main road and would walk them into thicker bits of woodland.

On my Death-intended walk in the woods I saw several hedgehogs. I knew I could very well have prevented the Death of at least one of them and it gave me a tiny glimmer. Would have been around 3.30am.

Sat down on a moss-covered log, rather soggy on my arse (didn't care) and had a bit of a think. Had Brendan stood upright. Pretty much had an auditory hallucination (hearing shit, not seeing shit) that I should give life a go.

Rang my Mum. I was only 70 miles or so away from Home. They got me in the morning.

Still here and am living a pretty balanced life overall, sort of found a bit of a groove. Took a LONG time and there were many ups-and-downs until just a few years ago, though 2007-2011 and then 2014 were the worst of it in terms of my Brain being a massive ball-bag.

But I'm here now. So that's pretty great. Lots of little coping mechanisms about the place. This forum is definitely one of them. Not the main one, but it plays a part.

Anyway, if you think writing about your experiences will "help" in any way or channel something, go for it. I write stuff quite often - no intention of showing it to people, I just enjoy the process. I think of it as my Brain being full of too much water and writing is turning the tap on - it siphons some away, placing less stress on my skull.

This was an unusual post. Life is good. Treasure it.

And both here, and the world in general, are all the better for it. Yourself and the ironing board made the right call

[miller0863]

I imagine you having similar focus to that displayed by Dr Johnson while writing the first dictionary, as recanted in Blackadder.

[Nineteenx]

Still here and am living a pretty balanced life overall, sort of found a bit of a groove. Took a LONG time and there were many ups-and-downs until just a few years ago

Lots of little coping mechanisms about the place.

Well, we're all very happy you made the choice you did

The parts I've quoted is what 'they' don't seem to understand the necessity of, or what happens when events like those I went through have the effect of someone coming into your head and absolutely smashing every single part of the years of circuitry and programming of 'coping mechanisms' for the general populations propensity to act like complete and utter arseholes into a million pieces - How the effect of that meaning you're removed from your safe environment and routine and losing everyone who was part of that being like numerous bereavements

Or that their numerous attempts to dope you up successfully failing, managing to find your own peace and safe places away from all triggering people and environments being the only form of medicating what is left of you successfully, it really isn't a very good idea at all to come into that and start effectively poking you with a stick trying to drag you out of your safe place

[Nineteenx]

I imagine you having similar focus to that displayed by Dr Johnson while writing the first dictionary, as recanted in Blackadder.

Well, the first gag was funny, the second damned right insulting, 1 out of 2 isn't bad

[miller0863]

Really? Wasn’t meant to be insulting, I just see you as oblivious to all around you once you seriously set your mind to doing something

[Nineteenx]

Really? Wasn’t meant to be insulting, I just see you as oblivious to all around you once you seriously set your mind to doing something

I see, well, yes and no, when I'm properly 'on' it is like the 2 or more conscious' are conducting different things at the same time, and something else is managing it all so I can absorb absolutely everything

I can be absolutely incredibly focused on one thing in a way, but how my head works and has always worked, especially after exposure to new information and/or environments and tasks or goals, is when I'm trying to sleep at night, it wakes me up and sorts, files, reprograms, analyses, calculates unlimited possibilities and probabilities and 'I think' actually uses those additional synapses to create triggers based on it doing all that, it creates an immaculate 'program' for want of a better way of putting it, that although it keeps refining it with further tweaks or on more new information, that program is very quickly already running as a highly advanced and developed auto pilot, leaving other conscious' free to look at other things

It's part of why I was an absolute genius at sales, it creates a highly advanced and sophisticated program for each next product or campaign, it quickly programs into that the correct or rather the response or reaction with the highest probability of being successful to unlimited types of people, responses, questions, tones, paces and creates a reflex/trigger type instantaneous correct response to each without my having to think about it - The knobs who stole my intellectual copyright and my calls and who sold it to external marketing companies haven't got a fucking clue, really precious little idea of the incredible sophistication of what they're dealing with.

I'm pretty certain I or rather 'it' invented the consultative sale as I'd never encounter it and no-one anywhere I went was doing anything remotely like it or close to it, because part of that programming was to ask the right questions to get people to tell you about their current product, so 'it' could learn and always have the most up to date, comprehensive and thorough knowledge of every single competitors product, service levels, pricing and strategy for their place in the market using those things

Part of the consultative sales 'program' was selling by inception, plant the seed, giving them the relevant information about your product discretely in conversation that would later trigger the neurotypical mind to put the pieces together, so having been given all the compelling and concise information of why your product and service was better than their current one, between your first call and your second call, their mind would arrive at the decision your product was better and to move to use it as their own idea, plant the seed in a way they would grow and develop the idea as their own and how to do that with the numerous different types of people

Again though, my head, 'it' just does all that for me, I think it's a combination of autsim and a life watching and studying other people so intensely like their an alien species to have so much 'learned' behaviour to display to appear normal and the development of acquired savants through my severe head trauma and the process of my head rewiring whilst in a dual autistic and bipolar episode

Edit: That's the short version and I have missed some parts out, I also believe they thought I was obvlious that I was giving them absolute genius, I wasn't, I knew I was and there was always far more I didn't ever give them, because I was waiting, in vain for them to reward me appropriately for the genius I had already furnished them with

[southernboy]

That was a lovely post Sid. I’m so glad that you saw those hedgehogs.

Happy to hear that life is treating you well. Supporting a team that rarely loses must help.

[redebreck]

I look forward to this book Nineteen, the dread is you can write for England so I might need help carrying it 😛

Ah, at long last, a cure for insomnia.
Bless you